A devious squirrel who former President Donald Trump called an: “Instigator, and a loser” had its neck snapped earlier today.

The squirrel in question allegedly chewed into the cable connecting the teleprompter and his handlers’ speech feed and the sophisticated software package that tells him every single word he has to say during a rally in Martinsburg, Maryland today.

“That dirty little feller” as the President coined him.. A squirrel who had no known previous name had its neck swiftly snapped by former US President Donald Trump in an assertive manner. Trump, “who was on a roll” on Thursday, before “getting all screwed up” quickly dispatched the rodent, and tossed the lifeless carcass aside.

For one brief moment in time, Donald Trump was not told what to say by the teleprompter, and he freaked out a little bit and talked about shark attacks.

“Trump really snapped that squirrel’s neck good this time.” said one person.” “No hesitation, no remorse, just a swift, clean snap.” That’s what I’m looking for in a President if I’m being completely honest with you.”

“I mean, I’ve been to rallies all over this once great country. I follow the guy, I’ve just never seen a neck snapped this good!” “I have hope in our nation again.”

Because of the decisive neck-snapping, Trump is currently surging in national polls, up 7.3% most in the Upper Midwest, and Heartland polling regions. Even up a wopping 4.8% in California.

Perhaps the most unfortunate part is the squirrel who chewed through the cable and was henceforth murdered by Trump this time was in fact also a very near-term pregnant squirrel who went by protected squirrel pronouns according to unnamed local veterinarians.

Regarding whatever happened with the grey-tailed squirrel, which is generally a happy, and friendly creature that gathers nuts of assorted varieties said:

“He snapped a squirrels neck like it was a pencil, or a piece of uncooked spaghetti. It was siiiickk!!” Said local teenager.

“I think I just gained a new found respect for the man.” He then said again. Is there a way I can scan a QR code and learn more?

After the teleprompters went out, someone announced that the cable between the teleprompter and the people telling Trump what to say had been chewed on by “some sort of rodent”. “We Immediately shifted our attention toward any sort of rodent- be it rat, mouse, squirrel, vole, mole, whatever.”

“Yeah, he’s in the back there, (Trump said shielding his eyes with his right hand) – Toward the back there!” “That loser Squirrel is back there” said the former president.

“The fake media will never show you that Squirrel, but he is back there. That Bad Little Feller’ just chewed up these cables! You guys need to find him! But if you don’t, that’s alright, too, that’s no big deal. I mean, it would be great if you did, but if not, we all know that he is the loser, who caused the teleprompters to stop working, but that’s alright. ” Said Trump.

“If the failing, loser media were to pan out, not only could we see how large this crowd is, but perhaps we could find that little feller’.. I could thank him, seeing as how I am better without the prompter, don’t you all agree?”

A very fast person grabbed the squirrel in the crowd, and proudly brought it up to the former president, and presented it to him, where he took it, raised it up above his head, and then snapped its neck.

“The fake media will probably act like I didn’t just snap that instigator squirrel’s neck really well”. They will act like that squirrel doesn’t even exist. What a bunch of losers. What a complete and utter fraud.”