Morro Bay – California

A One Hundred and Sixty Million Dollar Water treatment plant went online in Morro Bay, California today.

In what many are calling “The Most Amazing Water Treatment Plant Ever Built”, There could be a few underlying issues, one in particular which is seriously upsetting local residents.

The $160 Million dollar Morro Bay Water Treatment Facility is now operational, but there are many worries regarding certain aspects of the groundbreaking facility that has been so many years in the works.

The stainless steel gaskets, feeders, aqua-loaders and pumps are top of the line and likely built in Austria, or maybe Germany, but there could be other technical problems.

Many around the sleepy-town that is personified by the 3 smokestacks, fog horns, seals, and fishing boats were perplexed by the astronomical price tag, but especially angry because there was no clear spigot to pour Fluoride into.

“We’ve got to dumb down these people a notch, they’re getting uppity. I was looking for a spigot, nozzle, spile, spout, tap, stopple, or vent to pour the Sodium Fluoride into, but can’t find the (bleeping) thing.” Said (redacted unnamed employee) who added: “Where the F(bleep) is it?!

“After thorough investigation, there isn’t a clear spigot, or “funnel” if you will to pour the mind-altering drug we usually buy in bag-form and poor into a clearly marked funnel, which was used to great effect by the National Socialists during WW2 to take the edge off being in a concentration camp” said (redacted employee).

“It [Sodium Fluoride] really helps me not worry so much about things after a really long day dealing with the crazy minutia and mild annoyances of the modern life I find myself living, especially now that my water rates are way higher.” said local resident Dale Duggan. “They need to get this thing figured out.”

“So far, the pressure-loads, spigots, gaskets, and valves are holding at about 640, which I have to say indicates this is a top of the line facility, but there still isn’t any obvious “feed, or clear shoot/funnel looking thing” to pour the Fluoride into the water in. I would expect more from a multi-million dollar facility.” said “psychotropic-drugs in the water employee “Sean.” Having no clear way to amend the water supply with our chemicals that destroy the Pineal Gland is a huge disappointment” he added.

The Morro Bay “government” has yet to be contacted regarding this story.