Geese, Ducks “Worried” After New California Foie Gras Law Legislation Passed.


From a Calm, Reed-Surrounded Pond Near Sacramento, California –

In what many Ducks, Geese and other waterfowl are calling “a win” after the Foie Gras legislation passed by California governor Gavin Newsom regarding the force-feeding of their species’ to “make their livers taste really good” passed, many are saying “it didn’t go far enough” and are questioning why things didn’t go a little bit further.

Avian spokes duck Mallard Wingington quacked: “This legislation is clearly only bill service” to our species’” and demanded California Ducks, Geese and other marginalized water fowl get further protections and even reparations “for year of being hunted, farmed, gavaged, killed and eaten”.

“While the force- feeding (gavage) done to many of our avian cousins, sisters and brothers has been horrific, and we’re glad that governor Newsom passed this new legislation, we obviously just don’t feel this goes quite far enough.” quacked Wingington.

“We kind of feel like he missed the pond for the reeds on this one.” Quacked Bar-Headed Goose Anser Shelduck in a pond near Stockton.

I mean, it’s great that we are no longer being force-feed to make our livers taste very, very amazing, I’m told we’re talking extremely tasty like you’ve never experienced before, some say our swolen livers become “delicate and buttery like” but isn’t he [the governor] kind of missing the main bullet point here? We’re still getting killed and eaten!”

“We’re still being killed and eaten.” reiterated Wingington. This doesn’t go far enough.”

Look, we respect Gavin Newsom. He’s a human who kind of emulates our species- His hair reminds of us our water-resistant feathers: greased back, very straight, keeping its line and keeps its form. We imagine, his head, if submerged in a pond and moving forward, or diving underwater would keep its form and operate quite well, and would be insulated quite well.” I don’t want to go too far, but from my pondsituents, It’s almost like he’s one of us.”

For many though, he didn’t go far enough- “It’s kind of like.. “yeah, it’s nice that we are no longer being forcibly gavaged to make our livers becomes something perhaps Julia Childs, the French Laundry, or Le Cordon Bleu would rave about, but we think the whole killing us thing is even worse.”

“You guys have been eating us, literally hunting us down and genociding us for how long?, and now you’re not force-feeding us and want some sort of gold-medal for doing so?” added Quackington.

Gov. Newsom was busy dining in Yountville, and unable to respond to our inquiries regarding this new legislation, or how avian reparations will be doled out and funded due to the current California budget deficit.