Cambria – CA

We are so glad you decided to come and visit our Coastal Gem we lovingly call Cambria!

It’s so hard to find a nice, clean small town atmosphere anymore in California that isn’t infested with homeless people and outsiders, so it’s great that you decided to visit!

Cambria, as I’m sure you’re aware is a name for Wales, being the Latinised form of the Welsh name for the country, Cymru.

The term was not in use during the Roman (when Wales had not come into existence as a distinct entity) or the early medieval period. After the Anglo-Saxon settlement of much of Britain,

A territorial distinction developed between the new Anglo-Saxon kingdoms (which would become England and Southern Scotland) and the remaining Celtic British kingdoms (which would become Wales and, before their absorption into England.

Or is it named after Scotland? do you know where you are you are right now, or is it time for you to leave town?

Only some sort of drifter who is about to destroy this whole thing for us would not know Cambria is the name for Wales.”

(Said someone definitely not connected to a well known “Pie Shop”)

They slowly circled around you as you tried to find an object to beat them off with.

“Of course you don’t know what Cambria is named after. You uncultured swine!” the group rotated around you, slowly stalking you around you between the towering Coastal Pine trees and the quaint restaurant near that creek.

They then started to chant an ancient Druidic Ritual tome involving ancient Groves and started to hum: Caaaammm brrrriaaaa.. Caaaammm brrrriaaaa…

You then ran back to your car, through a ferny mist-filled gully and fiddled with your locked door, but the key just wasn’t working.

They kept getting closer, you looked back over your shoulder, but you couldn’t get the key to unlock the door..

You finally got the key to open the door after quite a struggle, but noticed you had seriously cut your arm on that tree-branch when you were running to your car, which is bleeding really bad right now.

You then hurriedly closed the door, and immediately noticed how ice-cold it was in the car as you pushed the key into the ignition and turned it, only to hear the engine turn over: “wraww, wrawww, wrawwwww.”

In the middle of the dense fern-filled fog, attempting to get the engine to turn-over, from your right side, you saw them coming.

“Wales. Have you ever heard of it?” “Wales. Have you ever heard of it?”

You stepped on the gas, The car lunged forward, stalled, and then lunged forward again.. You made it out! or did you? Then you saw a huge wooden barricade illuminated in your headlights “they” had erected. You accelerated, and then swerved to the right to avoid it, but it was too late.

You crashed into it, slamming against the wooden structure with large, splintering slivers busting through the left side of your car. Car smoking, you smelled what you could only describe as “a burnt meat, or rubber smell” pervading the crash site.

Attempting to recover, in a daze, they slowly closed in. The people of Cambria surrounded you.

“Have you heard about the Elephant seals that are just about 10 minutes down the Coast Highway 1 near San Simeon?” One of the locals pronounced as your car smoked and you recovered.

They kept walking toward you.

“Yeah well, they don’t exist. So, it’s probably time for you to move along.”

That’s the last thing you remember.