Ottawa- Canada
In an attempt to promote tourism to the frozen wasteland where people smother french-fries in gravy, recently Canada legalized euthanasia, in tandem with this announcement, Canada’s government has stated a new advertisement campaign: “Come To Canada and Kill Yourself.”
“We hope this new campaign gives us Canucks the shot in the arm- a Loonie booster if you will that we so desperately need to jump start out economy after the those truckers screwed everything up for us.
Come to Banff, check out Lake Louis, and then, kill yourself. That’s what we want people to remember. We really anticipate it will be great.”
“Try some maple syrup straight out of a tree- go visit Quebec City’s old town, you’ll feel like you’re in France, and then come to the government funded healthcare facility (healthcare is free here in Canada) and go kill yourself.”
“What we don’t want is for people to not feel comfortable enough here in Canada to go check out the beautiful boutique shops in Victoria, peruse the waterfront, visit the rain forests on Vancouver Island, and maybe experience the northern lights or a Raptors or Maple Leaves game, and then go and kill themselves.” said Canadian Tourism director Gale Windsor.
Many Canadians have been upset over the new slogan backed by a 23 million Canada dollar ad campaign “Come To Canada and Kill Yourself.” When other ad campaigns have been completely cut from the budget.
“It really seems like we put all our eggs in one basket here.” Said Pierre Mercon.
Justin Trudeau was visiting family in Cuba and unable to respond to our repeated attempts at inquiry about the new campaign.
“It’s going to be great. You come in, we give you a sedative to calm your nerves, and then we kill you. Don’t forget to visit some local restaurants and check out the fly-fishing near Calgary first!”