A new study- Released by MIT has come to a very shocking conclusion: “We’re all going to die!”

The public is kind of upset about these findings.

The data, collected very meticulously by a really good university (whatever that means, when we’re all going to die) comes to a very alarming conclusion: “We’re all going to Die!” Whether it be in a few minutes, hours, or at most 106 years, we’re all going to die!

“You’re basically a ticking time-bomb” said an unnamed scientist who knows a lot about life and death.

A “scientist” we’ll call “Dale” came to the extremely alarming conclusion: “Holy shit, we’re all going to die!” “What the heck is going on here?!”

“What the heck are we even doing here day to day, when we all are going to just kind of.. well.. Die?”

Dale added: “We are ALL GOING TO DIE!!!”

Other scientists have also concluded: “We’re all going to die.”

It seems to be a scientific consensus: “We’re all going to die, how weird is that?!”

“All your loved ones are going to die.. Everything you care about.. DEAD! You are going to slowly experience your cells deteriorating, then you DIE!!” Your pets, cats, any dog you love, even hamsters.. Everybody and every THING is going to DIE!!”

“Are we living in Hell right now?” added Durk Blamerston.

The alarming MIT study concluded that in fact everyone does die in fact die after “like 80 years on average”, and we might be living in some sort of nightmare.

“Psychologists have also waded in on the ongoing controversy,.. but they’re smart enough to realize it all doesn’t mean anything, because literally, we’re all going to die soon.”

Joe Biden has yet to weigh in on the ongoing death controversy, but has pledged another 60 billion dollars to Israel and the Ukraine.